3:58 a.m. - 2001-11-22
advice and girlfriend needed
Fuck you world. Fuck you for making me unhappy and the people I care about unhappy. Why can't you just give us a fucking break? Even if just for a little while...
I know these people that are just the coolest most amazing people....but for some reason, all they get is shit on...by everything and everyone. And it fucking sucks. Because all I want to do is help them and make them feel better...but either due to the fact that I cant actually see them and give them a hug and talk to them or something. But the sad reality is, even if they were I am not too good at helping people because I feel like I am being intrusive to everyone. The same thing goes for people here though, I dont know what to say to them because I dont want to offend them or make them feel like I am prying.....and beside that, I cant really tell people how I feel because I feel like I am being whiny or something. It's rather sad that society has made things like expressing how one feels into being "whiny" or "bitchy" blah.
Another thing. I can't talk to girls. When I like a girl I get REALLY nervous. Really REALLY nervous. Like...if it werent for the fact that I "like" this girl, I would be completely normal and happy and talkative, but if I do...then I have trouble keeping up 2 minutes of convorsation, and even IF the girl likes me I will still have problems talking/acting on it unless they act first. So if any of you reading this want my bod, then just see if I seem nervous around you and that will be your first clue. hehe. (exception to this is Amelia who I have always felt totally comfortable around.....weird) And along with all of that, I am still lonely as shit and am looking for that special someone. Applicants may apply via guestbook,hehehe.
Another thing. i really REALLY want to move out.....but for me to move out would mean that I have to drop out of college and get a job and pay back my student loans. i am seriously contemplating doing this...because it would be my only bill beside living costs.....oye. any advice people? on anything?
<3Chad
